Harry Potter and the Terrible Treacle
by SugaredPoison
Summary: Being nice sometimes has its drawbacks, as Harry Potter learns after forcing down some of Hagrid's homemade "snacks"...A hilarious one-shot that will remind you to be glad that you aren't always what you eat.


**Disclaimer: 'Harry Potter & The Terrible Treacle" is a one-shot 'Harry Potter' fanfic, and is not meant to be an exact replica of the original series. All characters were created by, and are property of, J.K. Rowling, author of the original 'Harry Potter' series. I claim no rights to any persons, places, or spells depicted in this story that were originally penned by Mrs. Rowling.**

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The sun was shining brightly in the clear blue sky, but the heat of it was countered by the cool breeze, making it a perfect day for Quidditch.

Or, rather, it would have been perfect, if Harry's stomach would just stop rumbling.

He wasn't hungry, that wasn't the problem. In fact, he was full - overfull. He'd gone with Ron and Hermione to visit Hagrid after lunch, and out of kindness to the friendly half-giant, the three young wizards had forced down a few mouthfuls of the awful treacle fudge he had made just for them. That bit of chocolate was now sitting in Harry's stomach like a brick, weighing him down on his Firebolt like a lump of lead on a string. Clutching his broomstick tightly, Harry pressed his lips together into a thin line and squinted his eyes as his stomach lurched again. It was beginning to be painful, but he did his best to ignore it, and leaned forward, taking off after the Golden Snitch he had just spotted.

Perhaps it was the desire to go and visit Madam Pomfrey in the hospital wing to see if she had anything that would settle his raging stomach acids, but whatever it was, Harry seemed to move faster thatn usual as his hand quickly closed around the tiny Snitch. A roar of cheers rose up from the Gryffindor stands, as well as Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw, as Harry managed to pull the victory out from under the Slytherin team yet again.

He only celebrated for a moment, smiling courteously at the crowd that had gathered on the pitch by the time he'd landed, before rushing off toward the changing rooms in anticipation of seeing what the school nurse could do to ease him tummy trouble.

Harry changed into his regular school robes so quickly that he was scurrying out of the changing room just as his teammates were coming in from the pitch.

"Well played, Harry!" Angelina called after him, but he barely heard her, his face scrunching again as his stomach growled. Turning the corner in the direction of the hospital wing, Harry suddenly stopped short.

There, grinning broadly and heading his way, was Cho.

Harry felt his heart leap into his throat and his cheeks burn slightly as she approached him, and for some reason, all he could think was, Where are all of her friends?

"Great game, Harry," Cho said brightly, her eyes glittering merrily. "You sure gave that Malfoy prat a good run!"

"Y-yeah...er...um, thanks," Harry stammered, looking around the unusally empty corridor nervously.

"Listen, Harry," she continued, her gaze casting shyly down to the floor. "I was wondering..."

Cho's voice trailed off as she looked up at him through half lidded eyes, and Harry's heart set to pounding madly, echoing in his ears.

Unfortunately, that wasn't the only part of him that chose that moment to take on a mind of its own.

His eyes widened as something shifted heavily in his stomach. _Oh, no...Not now!!_

"Harry, are you alright?" Cho asked, her expression a mixture of concern and bewilderment. In actuality, she was looking at him as though a second nose had suddenly sprouted on his face.

Harry bit his lip as a sharp pain went through his middle, and struggled not to let his discomfort show on his face. "Y-yeah...I'm f-fine...er...OUCH!"

Cho jumped back slightly as he cried out in reaction to another jolt of pain in his stomach, her eyes widening. "What's the matter?!"

"N-nothing...I just...er...bit the inside of my cheek..." She didn't look as though she was quite sure whether she believed him or not, but Harry realized he didn't really have time to stand there and try to convince her. "Look, um...hey, I'll see you at the feast, right?"

Cho watched him, utterly confused, as he edged around her, moving as though every muscle in his body were frozen stiff. "Did I say something?"

Harry shook his head quickly, resisting the urge to twist his body to relieve the building pressure in his abdomen. "No, no! Not at all! I just...I have to...I need to...er...go..." Oh, that sounds really great, Potter. "To my common room! Yeah, I have to go to my common room, to get...er...something..."

She was looking at him with a mix of doubt and concern, but she shrugged. "Alright, then...I'll see you later..."

"Right, see you," Harry said quickly, turning on his heel and hurrying away. There was no way he would make it to the hospital wing now, so he ducked into the first bathroom he passed, paying no attention to which one it was.

It was like the greatest relief he'd ever felt, and Harry closed his eyes with a sigh as he finally stepped out of the toilet stall nearly thirty minutes later. When he opened his eyes again, he froze, his eyes widening and his face losing its color.

Moaning Myrtle was floating just outside the stall door, her mouth hanging open, her nose slightly wrinkled. Shaking her head slowly, she stared at him in disbelief. "I've never been more glad to be dead than I am right now...Thank goodness ghosts have no sense of smell..."

The End

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**I originally wrote this one-shot about four years ago, just for the fun of it...I hope you enjoyed, please feel free to leave me a review! As always, thanks for reading... ~ SP**


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